Bra? What Bra?

School lesson #1. Do not race to the school to fetch your child only to realise that you have forgotten to put on a bra.

Today I wore my Onesie. I had been swimming and had leapt into its soft cuddliness after my shower. Then work grabbed hold of me and threw me around and I suddenly realised it was 11:50am. School closes at 12am. I had to GALLOP!

I threw on my clothes, raced out the door, hurtled up the street and then, as I was forcibly halted by the train to London (have to cross train tracks) I realised why I had that niggle of forgetting something. My bra.

It was too late to go home. I had to go on. The entire walk I was thinking, “Why is that person looking this way? Shit, they can see I don’t have a bra on!”

Then it was time to stand with the parents outside. A lot of parents. Bugger. I stood with my arms crossed. I still have to make friends with these parents and hopefully share some playdate love, NOW they think I am an angry ex-army sergeant with a penchant for staring moodily into the distance with crossed arms.

Then it came to me in a flash! As soon as Squidge was out the class I could carry her. Genius. It would disguise all. However, like all plans, real life was totally different.

“Let mommy carry you,” I whispered into her ear, “Please!”

No, mommy, let me DOWN,” my horrible child vocalised at the top of her lungs.

Please let me carry you? Just this once?”


So, today I established myself as a neurotic, rigid weirdo. Or as a total tart who doesn’t wear underwear.


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7 thoughts on “Bra? What Bra?

  • Posted on September 17, 2010 at 13:13

    As usual enough to have me rolloing on the floor. I look forward to each new post.

  • Posted on September 9, 2010 at 17:19

    Very often I have the chance to pick the children up from school, so your missing underwear issue would of been missed by myself as I’m the guy who appears to be staring at the floor, yes, I’ve done it, stood waiting outside the school with my flies undone, only to be pointed out by my son on entering the house, the horror, Didn’t help I had orange pants on under black jeans, you are not alone in your embarressment.
    You realise you will be required to stand with your arms folded for a good few weeks just so that everyone thinks you always do that in anticipation of your childs return from knowledge programming.

    • Posted on September 9, 2010 at 17:22

      CRYING with laughter! HAHAH! That’s pure genius. And with the orange underwear. Will endeavour to remember to maintain the same posture tomorrow. Oh, this made me laugh.

      • Posted on September 9, 2010 at 17:54

        I have loads of these unfortunate tales that have happened to me, I am so unlucky, but people find them amusing, So I may write them down one day.
        Recently I had a very brief Hospital visit, I was woken on the first nights stay after surgery, by a naked old man with grey hair, singing show tunes. I thought I’d woken up in a gay serial killer movie. What do you do in this situation? Of course you do what any music lover would do, ask him does he know New York New York as the old lady in the Next ward loves that song, I laughed myself to sleep to the sound of elderly screaming.

        • Posted on September 10, 2010 at 08:06

          Now yours is a blog I’d read. It would be dead funny.

  • Posted on September 9, 2010 at 17:08

    LOL!!! Love it!

    These things do happen. Shake it off…but not to vigorously, or braless twins will knock you upside the head!
    Jessi recently posted..Where’s Jessi

    • Posted on September 9, 2010 at 17:20

      Oh! HAHAH! I just visited your blog and love it. Love it! Thanks for yet another addiction.

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