The universe is going to crack!
12 Apr 2011 No Comments
in Bedraggled Mum Tags: Child, School, Squidge
It started out as any normal afternoon. I ambled up to the school in the brand new and warm sunshine to fetch my delectable offspring from the clutches of The System. After the rugby scrum style madness that is any after school collection, Squidge and I were walking home hand in hand.
“Mummy,” she says, her little face scrunched up in what I have come to recognise as deep thought, “Did you know that one day the universe is going to crack and that we are all going to die?”
I was uncertain as to my next move. There isn’t any handbook for this. Do I acknowledge that she is likely right and possibly instil in her the kind of fear that Obelix always had for the sky? Do I laugh manically and change the subject? I went with my first instinct which was to ask how on Earth she came up with this…
“Squidge,” I said, nervously, “Where did you get this idea from?”
“OH,” said she who amazes me, “G and I were talking about it today and WE think that if the universe cracks we are in a lot of trouble. Except the space men. They have special suits so they’ll be ok. Can we get special suits, mummy?”
I saw my opening and went for it. Happily avoiding the concept of mortality and how fragile our lives actually were I asked her which space men we were talking about. After about five minutes of lengthy discussion about space stations, designer pink space suits, and Doctor Who, she says…
“Look mummy, these are the different positions people die in.”
And she proceeded to put her arms and head and body in a variety of seriously disturbing positions.
Honestly, I have no idea what they teach them at school.
I think I need therapy. And a handbook.
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