13 Jun 2012
in Bedraggled Mum Tags: Exercise, Fat, Hair, School, Squidge
Yes, it has been VERY quiet here on the site. I’m sorry. Half term is always a juggle a minute and I have been trying to keep work and gorgeous child happy. Sort of successfully.
This past two weeks, 12 days to be exact, I have also been fighting two of my personal demons – my weight and my smoking. I have always been a thin person and eaten whatever I liked, but pregnancy and a bad diet and stress soon helped me recover from that and I’ve been getting steadily bigger over the past two years.
So, what I decided to do was a Challenge. I entered a competition, along with a bunch of other equally insane people, to completely change my diet and exercise and achieve the best body I can. It lasts for 98 days and asks that I walk away from every single ounce of refined sugar on the planet. That means saying goodbye to cakes, chocolates, pizza, hamburgers and and and…
I’m not going to lie, it has been incredibly tough. Right now I am sitting here and gagging for something sweet, but instead I am probably going to drink a glass of water and do some exercise. This is the first time I have ever been so determined and I really don’t want to give up.
When it comes to smoking this is also a first. I have gone cold turkey. There is not a patch or a pipe in sight. And today, day 12, sees me grappling with those urges and taking it all one day at a time.
So, these two things have kept me pretty occupied for the last while. But the new term has started, new hairdos have been made, and I shall start popping these beauties up on the site. WISH ME LUCK!
15 Sep 2011
in Bedraggled Mum, Fascinating Things Tags: Exercise, Fat, Husband, Saffa, Turning 40
You ever have a fat day? The day where you turn and accidentally catch sight of your ass in the mirror and a part of you starts screaming like Munch and doesn’t shut up for at least 24 hours?
I get them. Funny how I get them more now that I actually am fat. I look back at skinny me and mentally slap her for stupidity. If I still had that old figure I’d be sitting here naked and wearing nothing but knickers on the school run. If I did that today, there would be heart attacks, medical emergencies and a restraining order. And that’s just from my husband…
I read, recently, that as you get older and into your 40s a woman’s body deposits fat on the arms and thighs as a part of some or other ageing process (translation: god has a sick sense of humour) but I had no idea this happened OVERNIGHT. Yes. If you are not 40 yet, please be warned that you will go to bed 39, looking ok, but wake up 40 with your upper arms and ass dragging on the floor behind you. Allow me to give you the name of a good surgeon…
Anyway, this morning, as I was wrestling my arms into some sleeves (kidding) I got an email from a dear, dear Saffa I love. This email has officially made me laugh so hard that I may need back surgery. Here it is, enjoy…
30 Aug 2011
in Bedraggled Mum Tags: Exercise, Fascinating, Fat
…do I really LOOK like a drug addicted maniac?
Let’s start at the beginning. Last week The Husband and I set out on our planned Home Renovation campaign that involved a lot of painting, sanding, cleaning, washing and (occasionally) yelling at each other. On our very first day I went down the stairs, slipped on a hidden puddle of paint, and fell down.
I only fell maybe three steps. Not far AT all, especially seeing as they are carpeted and I am well padded. Unfortunately the one step hit my left shoulder at exactly the wrong angle and knocked it out. The “()£*)(“*()*£” thing.
The pain is, I have to tell you, extraordinary. I screamed. No, wait. I fucking screamed. I didn’t bear down with stoic composure. I didn’t gracefully bite my lip and whisper to my husband for help. No, what I did was this…
As I hit the second step and felt the bugger pop out I screamed (and this was punctuated by the bonk thunk of my ass hitting subsequent steps) “AAAAMBUUUULAAAANCE!!!!”
The Husband went, “Oh no, not again“
It wasn’t a heartless remark, it was one filled with utter fear for me, knowing how agonising it can be. Off he ran to get the phone. I sat at the bottom of the stairs, holding onto my left arm as tightly as I could while sweat POURED off my face. When the nice paramedic arrived I stuck my arm at him and gasped, “Morphine!”
Ok, OK, I know this doesn’t look good. I do. But if you have ever dislocated anything you will know how completely painful it is. Apparently (I have no way of confirming this short of empirical testing, which I don’t plan to do any time soon) it is more painful than a break. I also have zero pain threshold and cannot cope with pain.
So morphine and entonox were, literally, my only lifeline. Last time my shoulder stayed out for around 6.5 hours as the A&E was busy. A real bugger when you realise that it takes about 10 mins to put me under and whack it back in.
Luckily for me, the arm swacked back in as I stood up to get in the ambulance. We didn’t know at the time, it took a VERY confused X-Ray technician for us to realise that the agonising pop that happened when I stood up was actually my arm returning to sender.
However, while I was there (and I must point out that my hair is still growing out of the short haircut and looks AWFUL and I have put on a ton of weight and I was wearing clothes covered in paint) a nice doctor sort of rushed me through the system so I wouldn’t have to wait six hours again.
I was beyond grateful until I suddenly realised, two days later, that maybe he wanted the scary bag lady out of there as I was scaring the elderly? Or I was his charity case for the day.
This was reinforced today when I went to the hospital for my check-up and, after vaguely poking at me and making me lift my arm, the guy goes, “It is very badly bruised and torn, don’t do anything for another 2-3 weeks.”
Fine. Frustrating, but I can live with that. However, when I asked him for pain relief he said, “No more for you, take paracetamol” like I was some kind of drug addicted freak.
To be fair, he didn’t know I spend all day in front of my desk typing as I work from home and have no choice BUT to work. STILL! Do I LOOK like a bloody codeine addict?
I think, perhaps, I need to get this mad mop of hair and this diet sorted out before someone hands me a trolley and 6 cats and tells me to get on with the mad cackling…
27 Jan 2011
in Bedraggled Mum, Slightly Insane, The Blob Tags: Cake, Fat, Husband
I am, quite frankly, crap at dieting. I can’t walk past a bakery display without wanting to bury my head in the pecan tarts and go, “Whooobbble whoobble whooobbble“. Seriously.
I am also starting the very first chapter of CMA – Chocolate Mothers Anonymous. To be a member of this club you need to suffer the following symptoms.
- You eat really well during the day. In fact, you approach 6pm with a level of smugness that can only be seen on yoga instruction videos. You are The Master of Your Cravings.
- You collect your kids, you make dinner, you do a rudimentary tidy/dish wash/polish, you listen to The Husband’s day (your husband, not mine), you place your offpsring in bed, you sit down on the sofa and your entire body goes, “OOOFFF”.
- You sit on the sofa/chair/bed for approximately fifteen minutes. Then it starts….
- After twenty five minutes the desire for chocolate has reached the same level as a nagging itch in a place you just can’t reach.
- You prowl the kitchen. Nothing. Your smug shop during your smug day saw no fattening foods enter the trolley. Your house has fruit, nuts, vegetables and healthy snacks.
- You don’t want these but you manage a half-hearted nibble of a piece of fruit. The itch intensifies.
- An hour later you’re back on the sofa with a packet of chocolates, sweets, fudge which you bought from the nearest open shop.
- You may or may not share this packet with your husband.
- You will go out as late as 10pm to satisfy this urge.
So far there doesn’t appear to be a cure for this, ahem, disease but I’ve found that talking about it with other afflicted humans helps a great deal.
We have three members and have achieved nothing more than a level of competitiveness over who went to the shop the latest. 10:45pm is the winner. The winner chooses to remain anonymous.
30 Nov 2010
in Get Fit For Charity, Review Tags: Charity, Exercise, Fascinating, Fat, Free, Get Fit For Charity
- Image from: http://www.brmemc.com/
I electrocuted my stomach and I liked it. Wahooo!!!
But first, before I reveal all, a word from our sponsor…
“Oooh, it has been AGES since my last post. The utter madness of my approaching holiday is sucking up every last minute. And, to be fair, I did fall over and play endless Peggle on the weekend because I was a big lazy git. HA! Sorry, please come back. I love you.”
So, what am I wittering on about today. Well it is actually a review of a product I was sent about a month ago. A Slendertone Abs Kit.
Now, let me tell you, I was sceptical. I’ve always wanted one of these but I’ve also always been very wary of their claims. If I have a load of fat wibbling about on my belly then there is no way that flexing the muscles is going to strip that fat away.
This time, because I am on the Get Fit for Charity Challenge (back in full swing there, mates!) I have been eating six times a day, on a strict calorie regime, and exercising every morning at around 6am. It was obvious that I would lose weight on my belly whether I used the Slendertone or not, so I decided to do a controlled test.
For two weeks I ate the same food and did the same exercise, the only difference was that for one week I did sit-ups and for the other week I used the ab buster. The first week was the sit-ups. 90 sit-ups spread over three different positions with varigated holding times. By the end of that week I’d lost 1.5 inches on my waist at the thinnest part, and .5 inches on the fatty bit just above the hips.
In the second week I used the Slendertone. After two days I realised I was doing it wrong and had to start again. I wasn’t really pushing it to the limits. Once I pushed it to really zap me, a sensation that I have come to REALLY enjoy, I was actually stiff the next day. Genuinely stiff.
This took me by surprise. For nearly 40 years I thought these were gimmicks, and yet I was feeling more burn after using the Slendertone that I did when I was doing sit-ups. I did this every day with two rest days, over a period of seven days. Exactly the same schedule as the abs in my usual routine.
So…want to know the results? I lost two inches on my waist at the narrowest part and .5 inches on the fatty bit just above the hips.
It appears that the Slendertone works just as well as standard ab exercises and has measurable results with a controlled diet and exercise regime. I can’t say that it would compete with, say, a workout like Shaun P.’s Insanity, but for anyone looking to tone their abs while watching CSI, this is great.
The entire system really appeals to me. I love running and gymming and all those things, I do. But after a day of running around with school stuff, work stuff, house stuff, admin stuff, blah blah blah, it IS nice to flop on the sofa, plop on the Slendertones and get exercised while doing NOTHING.
I just have to add, though, putting them pads on your bare flesh? COLD! Is very COLD. I pull that face you get when you are about to get in cold water or do something you know you have to, but don’t wanna.
So yes, I electrocuted my stomach and I liked it. Yeah, baby, yeah.
03 Nov 2010
in Get Fit For Charity Tags: Charity, Exercise, Fat, Get Fit For Charity
The Get Fit For Charity challenge I set myself met with something of a snafoo over the Half Term Tour. After three days of having to rush into kitchens to prepare meal number 4 or 6, I was distressing my hosts so much I gave up. Also, you try and get low fat, calorie controlled food on the road – impossible!
So I was very afraid of today’s measurements. Even though I continued the workouts and really pushed myself, the food was high in calories and likely outweighed the exercise. As I thought, the measurements were not as drastically reduced as they were a week and a half ago. If nothing else it has inspired me to work harder!
Total inch loss as of last measurements: 5.7 inches lost in week 1
AND here are today’s measurements…They are a bit late but I am hoping all parents get the post half-term madness.
Neck: 13.4 inches (gained!)
Chest: 34 inches (lost one inch)
Widest part of hips: 37 inches (lost .5 inches)
Waist: 27.5 inches (lost .5 inches)
Thighs: 21.5 inches (lost .5 inches)
Biceps: 10.5 inches (lost .5 inches)
Weight: 10st 2.5 (er, negligible weight loss here I’m afraid)
So the total loss of inches is nowhere near the LOVELY 5.7 lost in the first week! However, it is a fairly respectable 3 inches in total lost, but .4 inches gained on my neck. Not sure what THAT’s about so have notified Evil Trainer to see if she has words of wisdom.
I mean – my NECK? Really?
20 Oct 2010
in Get Fit For Charity Tags: Charity, Exercise, Fat, Get Fit For Charity
It has been a week. A week! I can’t believe it either. Today is Day 7 and it is a No Exercise day so muscles can rest and get all strong, ready for more torture tomorrow. I spent most of yesterday faintly terrified that I hadn’t lost any inches at all and that my Get Fit For Charity plan was going to be an epic failure.
WELL. Here are the measurements of today, one week into the 12 week programme. But first, a reminder of what the measurements originally were:
Neck: 14 inches
Chest: 35.5 inches
Widest part of hips: 39 inches
Waist: 30 inches
Thighs: 22.7 inches
Biceps: 11 inches
Weight: 10st 8.5
And here those measurements are today:
Neck: 13 inches
Chest: 35 inches
Widest part of hips: 37.5 inches (!!!)
Waist: 28 inches
Thighs: 22 inches
Biceps: 11 inches (no change there!)
Weight: 10st 2.75
WOW! How is THAT for spurring me on??? That’s one inch off my neck, one and a half inches off my hips (WAHOO), and a TWO inches off my waist. GASP! I shall demand that The Husband take photographs tonight so you can see the difference. Although I doubt it will be obvious with only a couple of inches here and there…
18 Oct 2010
in Get Fit For Charity Tags: Charity, Exercise, Fat, School
It is Day Five of my Get Fit For Charity mission and I wish I could say I couldn’t feel my legs. Because I can. I really, really can.
They hurt. When I stand up I walk in this stiff-legged rocking motion – I sort of fall gently from one unbending leg to the next – and have been found by The Husband rocking against the wall because I was too afraid to bend my knees in order to escape.
The Evil Trainer is not nice. She laughs at me. She spends a good portion of her time on texts and Skype crying with laughter as I wheeze, groan and cough my way through another day.
Even when I told her that last night I had to, once again, go down the stairs on my bum because I couldn’t bend my legs, all I got were giggles.
I don’t think that’s very motivational, do you?
I am also eating a VERY strict diet. This is six times a day, set calories per meal, MUST use scales, food. I am not used to this. On my first day I asked the Evil Trainer how she could expect me to eat only a teaspoon of yoghurt as Meal 2. Again with the laughing. THEN she explained about how the measurements she gave me were per gram, not per 100g. It all made sense after that.
I had visions of eating 1 asparagus, 1 egg, 1 tsp of yoghurt, 1 banana all day.
While that isn’t the case (thank the great Eating Deity) all I want is fudge, chocolate cake, and delicious chocolate croissants. I actually dream of them now. I am drooling on my keyboard as I write. FUDGE! CHOCOLATE! I want to bathe in you! Come to me!
Meanwhile, back in Reality Bay, The Husband and Squidge have eaten the following items in front of me since I started: fish and chips (my FIRST NIGHT), pain au chocolat, doughnuts, pizza, cake and pasta dripping with cheese.
17 Oct 2010
in Get Fit For Charity, Knitting Mama, Saffa, Slightly Insane Tags: Baby Loss Awareness, Blog, Child, Exercise, Fat, Free, Half Term, Knitting, Mommy, Pattern, School
WELCOME TO SUNDAY! Ohhh, I do hope you are having a fantastical day. Over here at Tamsin Towers it has been a manic couple of weeks. So much so, that I’ve barely been able to visit my favourite blogs and say hello to my favourite people. The next week isn’t looking that much better but Half Term is coming so enforced relaxation is on its way.
I haven’t given my blog a focus. This has been bugging me a lot lately. A focus means more ideas and strategy. So, hopefully, over the next few weeks I’ll be implementing a stronger focus on parenting issues and crafty parenting.
And here, in all it’s glory, is the week’s roundup…
This week I started my Get Fit for Charity mission. So far I have ten sponsors which is, I have to say, more than I ever expected. It’s been a tough couple of days and the past few days I’ve been the I in Pain. I had to go down the stairs on my bum for a 2am toilet break last night. My legs were just Too Sore For Words.
I can’t WAIT for the weekly measurement and weigh-in on Wednesday.
If you fancy sponsoring me, please do. Every penny is going to Learn As One, a worthy cause indeed. If you haven’t already seen how I look now visit here. Look right to see Sarah’s transformation and how I plan to look by Christmas. Wahey!
OH AND! AND! I was sent a Slendertone System Abs kit to try out for a month. Now, because I am also doing masses of crunches and stomach killing exercises with my diet and exercise plan, I wanted to make sure that this was a fair review.
SO, I am using it on the non-abs days and The Husband, who can’t exercise at the moment due to an arm injury, is using it on the same days for the same time! He is my control group. Not exactly a WILLING control group, I’ll give you that. There are yelps of, “It’s cold” and “Urgh, STICKY!”
It’s true. The pads are cold and sticky. But I am loving the tickly sensation when its doing its thing. Its quite relaxing actually. I find myself getting quite zen as I knit, watch Medium (one of my all time favourite shows EVER. How can you not love a show about a middle-aged mum of three who kicks butt?) and get stomached by Slendertone.
I am deeply sceptical of products like these but perhaps with The Husband as control group A, and Sarah as control group B (she knows how long it took her abs to show when she started the programme the first time) we can see how much of an impact this system has on my figure.
It was with vast quantities of anger and sorrow that I saw Baby Loss Awareness get covered in chocolate. It was a sad moment in our media history and I truly hope their protest made some difference. Sadly I can’t find anything about it in the news. I wish I had litres of cash so I could make a difference.
I joined in with thousands of British Mummy Bloggers at their #savvyhalfterm twitter party. It was really good! Many of the ideas were pure genius and others extremely funny. I lost many hours to scrolling through the stream and reading the ideas. I know I’ve stolen several for my half-term plans! Here are some of mine.
And I uncovered an adorable free knitting pattern for babies that has had several emails come my way cooing in delight. This pattern is actually quite simple and will make anyone really happy if you decided to pick up the sticks and knit it for them. If you get stuck with any parts of the pattern just drop me an email tamsin [@] saffasogood [dot] com, and I’ll do my best to help you out.
Tomorrow will be all about dissecting the morning news of the day, an aching body update on Get Fit for Charity, and something insane this way comes…
12 Oct 2010
in Get Fit For Charity, The Blob Tags: Charity, Exercise, Fat, Learn As One, Person
Sponsor me for every inch that I lose, and every cent goes to Learn As One
It is only fitting that, as the mother of a school-going child and wife to a man who wants to save the world, that I would choose Learn as One as my charity of choice. And what am I doing with this charity? I want to make up that last £3k that they’re missing to build a school.
I am asking you to please, please sponsor me for every inch that I lose on an insane, brilliant and utterly awesome fitness programme that my Person has devised for me. I start on Thursday 14 October 2010. EEEK!
If you’re wondering why she is the right one to help me do this just check out her site Six Pack For Girls and be amazed at her transformation. She is scarily focused and I think she will be a terrifying task mistress. I am quaking in my boots. I really, really am.
Currently I look like she did before she started but and I am going to give you my measurements and, once a week for the next 84 days, I am going to post my results. I will also be posting my first photo of fatty me along with a newspaper tomorrow so you can see this isn’t an elaborate hoax!
If you fancy sponsoring me for every inch that I lose, please sponsor me through Just Giving. You can choose any amount that you feel comfortable with – it isn’t about litres of cash but rather anything that will help make a difference.
How you donate is up to you! You can pledge your support below and donate through Just Giving at the end, or just pay per inch. It is up to you!
All those who pledge their support will be announced on the site as a big, huge, fat thank-you from me.
I have no idea how many inches I’m going to lose or what the final result is going to be, but heeeeere’s fatty!
Neck: 14 inches
Chest: 35.5 inches
Widest part of hips: 39 inches (cry)
Waist: 30 inches
Thighs: 22.7 inches
Biceps: 11 inches
Weight: 10st 8.5